The Jokelottery

Welcome to Thejokelottery.com

At Thejokelottery.com, we believe in the power of words to inspire, induce laughter, illicit confusion, and connect people. We dedicate our sole writer with the responsibility of creating hilarious and mystical words for you to enjoy.


A Real Service unlike any other

Jokes

We tell jokes. Simple but not. Nothing is simple except for my cousin Gregor, everyone says he's simple.

Storytelling

Grifty Jokemaker has a PHD in Joke Technology, He is the inventor of the deciphering system, the first ever joke explaining system that he knows of.

First one is on the house. Find a ladder you gulible son of a bitch.

Writs

Sign up for the Custom Writs, a handwritten yearly  *handublication. A handublication is another word for hand written publication. Everything is copied these days,Grifty wants to bring back to this AI backward world we live in today.

Are you ready for sinething new? Something differnt and cool? Check out Cirque De Solei,Fascinating show indeed. If you want a custom handwritten publication of Grifty's yearly handwritten magazine. Handwritten, with all the spontaneous creative flow of verbal magic that you tickle bone with turn into a feather.

Order Last years publication today. ( Contact griftyjokemaker@gmail.com)

Shit or get off the pot. Stop picking your nose, dont pinch my ass, what do these things have in common? My mother.

In 1980 I was baptized in the blood of a chicken and a pinprick blood droplette from Diego Pompillia, my seven year old  Peurto Rican friend.

I had just started Catholic school in New Britain, Ct. Where the nuns had green hair and foam at the side of their mopuths.


Frequently Asked Questions

How do I join?

Steps to take

1.Text Grifty at 860-877-8659 or email him at griftyjokemaker@gmail.com

2. Tell the Clown on call duty that you want the whole package, The Joke Lottery System

3. Grab a pen and get ready to take down a special code ( do not lose this code, ever!)

4. Your membership begins

5. Make a sandwich

What do you get when you join?

You will recieve  love, respect, a lavalamp possibly a hooka. A handwritten version of " Griftys 13 Steps ot Joke Trauma", Griftys newest and innovative concepts and a recipe for rye bread. I think theres a pencil sketch of Grifty's favorite shoe.

What type of clients do you work with?

Our clients are prfofession, hard working, intelligent people. Except for my Uncle Bartok, he is a bad man.

How do I know this isnt some kinda scam? huh?

One thing Grifty abhorrs is scammers. We hired a very experienced detective to handle our Cybercrimes division, Columbo. (from the 70s hit TV series) Peter Faulk is always on duty.

Is Grifty really Andre the Giant, the famous wrestler?

No comment.

Joke Lottery

The Joke Lottery

US$50.00
Joke Lottery

The Joke Lottery

US$50.00

Jokes written by Grifty the Jokemaker in a clandestine fortified bunker somewhere in the continental US.

After payment is made, please allow 24-48 hours for your joke to arrive magically, every time. All jokes, stories, thoughts for today and more are written with the skill of a Master Jokecraftsman.


This guy is a complete asshole. Ignore him.

“The Joke Lottery's writing services are simply spectacular. They have a way of capturing the essence of a joke and turning it into something completely original and retarded in a special way. I highly recommend them to anyone looking for a fun way to escape the drudgery of the everyday routine. 

— Mack S Aroon 

"I met Grifty at a bookstore and he was kind and sincere. After conversing and learning of his joke writing service I was intrigued. I just signed up and bought my mom a subscription too. Haha!" - Crosby Spillz Natzundung

"I want my$5 back. The birthday card you sent to my dying mother made her laugh so hard it killed her. Mamma is gone and I'm $5 short for a pack of Newports." - Darla Frenu

"The Joke Lottery helped me leave the cult I had joined when my husband left me for his grandmother. He said it was true love since he was a child. Grifty is a certified cult deprogrammer and a great cook. Thanks for the Potato Pancake Grifty" -Lola Dogistino


Send Insults

Sign up and you wont receive a free gift. We don't sell your name to mailing lists. In fact, we will probably forget to email you on occasion, 

Location

The Joke Lottery
Southington, Connecticut, United States


About 

The Joke Lottery is a joke and story hub based in Southington, Connecticut. Grifty, the joke-writer, is passionate about writing jokes, stories and whatever else you desire. Absurd laughter is a sure sign that the magic of his writing simply works. To our slowly but steadily growing audience through the power of words, everything we write is crafted with love and a casual psychopathy that injects laughter that is not easily forgettable.